I have struggled with my weight for most of my life. I have tried just about every diet, know the calorie content of most foods, am a lifetime Weight Watcher member and was even a Weight Watcher leader. I know nutrition very well, and both the benefits and the negative effects various types of foods have on my body. Over the years I could maintain a good weight for a while then cast aside paying attention to what I would eat and gain weight. I struggled with the extra 10-15 pounds most of my life – losing and gaining. This was a very dark cloud hanging over me for years – always nagging me, and always on my mind.
The time had come for a different approach to get off this cycle of gaining and losing weight. I knew that I needed to dig deep and work on what triggers me to behave this way, and realized it is years and years of “stuff” that cause me to repeat the cycle and do what I have done hundreds of times over the years.
Tapping on Those Childhood Memories and Emotions:
I am the type of person who “moves on”. I usually don’t dwell on past negative events because I feel it’s not productive. I can’t change the past. “Get Over It” is my motto. With that said, while on this journey and through my studies and experience with tapping, I know that those deep-seated memories stay with us and can affect our everyday lives, oftentimes without us realizing it. It was time for me to acknowledge and deal with my childhood events that still affected the struggle with my weight and self-esteem. I decided the Tapping Tree (Tapping Tree) was a good tool to use and made a list of some of my remembered past events: (1) My brother always calling me fat names, and embarrassing me by calling me these names in front of a boy I really liked (I was in 6th grade), (2) When I was around 10 years old and at my Aunt and Uncle’s for Thanksgiving my cousin and I wanted to play outside. Since I didn’t have any clothes to change into I had to wear my Aunt’s pants – and they fit — I was so embarrassed, (3) In Junior High, school girlfriends running away from me and calling me fat. Not wanting me to be part of their group.
Now that I had some past events I sat down, closed my eyes and thought about each of them in my mind’s eye. The first one that made me feel emotional was when I had to wear my Aunt’s pants at Thanksgiving. You can see in the photo I am crying and upset that my mom wanted to take my picture. When I looked at the picture I felt embarrassed, stupid, and hurt that everyone was laughing at me. I was very sensitive about my “pudginess”, especially since my cousin was so skinny! Simply closing my eyes and reliving that moment brought tears to my eyes and although nothing physical in my body, I rated the emotion around 8 (How to do EFT). Then I tapped….“Even though I have to wear Auntie Frank’s pants and feel embarrassed and upset, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”. The tapping points: “I’m so embarrassed”, “I’m so hurt”, “They’re all laughing at me”, “I just want to hide”, “I’m upset”, “I feel stupid”, “I don’t want my picture taken”, “and it’s not funny”. After a deep, cleansing breath I checked in with myself by picturing the event again. I still felt a little emotional, so did another round: “Even though I am still upset, crying and embarrassed that I had to wear Auntie’s pants, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”. Tapping points: “I feel so ashamed”, “I’m embarrassed”, “I’m just a kid”, “They shouldn’t laugh at me”, “I’m upset”, (clavicle point where I lingered) “They’re grownups and shouldn’t laugh at me” “They’re making me upset and cry”, “I’m just a kid”, “and I’m so embarrassed”. After this round I felt calmer. I then tapped on the points: “Mom is hugging me”, “Auntie is hugging me”, “It’s much better now”, “They are sorry”, “I’m okay”, “It’s time to have fun”, “I’m feeling better now”. I could feel the release of this event and am no longer emotional when I think about it. Actually, I can now see the humor in it and it makes me smile looking at the photograph.
Another past event I wanted to work on was when I was in Junior High and my girlfriends since elementary school ignored me all day, then ran away from me after calling me fat. Junior High is such a pivotal moment in a young girl’s life. Puberty, body image, peer pressure, wanting to be liked are the burdens young girls face at this age. I decided to try the Movie Technique (The Movie Technique) and tap on those moments that made me feel anything emotional or physical. This really meant that I needed to tune into my body for each scene. The name of my movie is “Girlfriends Don’t Like Me Anymore”. I visualized and tapped through the various scenes of this past event and by the time the movie was over and I thought about the whole past event it just seemed like a story, and it no longer had a negative effect on me emotionally or physically. This is truly the amazing result of Tapping. As a finale, I did a round of tapping for forgiveness at the tapping points: “I forgive my friends”, “they were young and foolish”, “they didn’t really mean to hurt me”, “girls at that age can be so “catty”, “I forgive them” “I bring healing to this event that caused me so much pain”. Those five young girls are still my best friends 5o+ years later. We continue to love and support each other in so many ways. But this was also an event in my adolescence, which I had buried, that had an impact on my self-worth and self-esteem, and ultimately an impact on my issues with my weight and how I look.
To see Melissa’s Tapping Tree Click Here: Melissa Tapping Tree
Sitting down and thinking about how events in my childhood have impacted my relationship with food and had an effect on my self-esteem was a major step for me. A milestone was acknowledging they happened and tapping on them. Sometimes it’s easier for me to just “move on”, but after having gone through this journey with tapping about these past issues and other challenges I have with food, I know it was all worth the effort. I have become more confident and relaxed with living with food and food situations. I know that if I am ever challenged, and there are many times that I am, I can do some rounds of tapping and all will be well! I feel better physically and emotionally, I don’t have brain fog, I sleep better, I can move better and my joints don’t hurt. Thanks to tapping that perpetual dark cloud no longer hangs over my head.